Monday, 8 June 2009

2008/09 season: A footballing review

Team of the Year - FC Barcelona. Their performance against Man Utd in the Champions League Final was phenomenal. Fully deserved to be crowned Champions of Europe, Champions of Spain and King's Cup winners. The Glorious Treble achieved.

Manager of the Year - Josep Guardiola of Barcelona. Phil Brown of Hull would have been in contention if it wasn't for a total collapse after Christmas which almost seen them relegated.

Biggest over-achievers - Liverpool. What's the name of that famous old ship that hasn't sailed into Merseyside?? The Premier-ship??

Biggest under-achievers - Newcastle United. Dreadful. Shockingly poor season. Big players, underperformed. Duff, Owen, Viduka & Martins. Big name players, but were always gracing the physio's room more often than the Newcastle pitch!

The Kevin Keegan Award for Sore Losers - Rafa Benitez. And that's a FACT.

Most hated player - Didier Drogba.

Most over-used phrase - "... and here come the World champions Manchester United". Commentators didn't half milk United's 3 match success in a mediocre competition against poor continental teams. It's just not the Champions League (a European competition which perhaps somewhat ironically, United did not win).

Most under-used phrase - "Premier League champions Liverpool". Will we ever hear this? Not as long as they keep that fat Spanish waiter in charge. Long live Manuel.

TV personality of the year - Adrian "I have more jobs than a Labour MP" Chiles.

Worst TV pundit of the year - Martin "Norvern Eyeland have no chance of qualifying" Keown

Worst TV pundit of the century - Mark "I slag the N.Ireland side at every opportunity even though I was born in Preston, work for the BBC, and have Irish grandparents" Lawrenson

Funniest moment of the season - Newcastle hiring & sacking 'King Kev', Joe "You F****** C*** journalist f****** a********" Kinnear, then when all else fails appoint Alan 'The Messiah' Shearer to guide your team to the Championship. This is a man who's CV includes sitting next to Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson (noted above) and talking a load of balls.

Biggest surprise of the season - Newcastle's demise, Hull City's rise, Rafa's lies, the Scousers' cries. Please, please, dry your eyes!!

Funniest chant of the season - "We're gonna deep-fry your criossants, deep-fry your criossants..........." (Scotland fans to France during a European Qualifier at Hampden Park).

Fattest wallet in the world - Apart from Bertie Ahern, Manchester City (cue the celebration parties at Eastlands

Biggest disgrace if you're a Linfield supporter - Getting paid by the IFA yearly only to watch on across the city as your arch rivals Glentoran take 'your' League crown!
Biggest sulk of the season - Roy Keane.

Biggest waste of money - Robbie Keane. London Victoria to Liverpool Lime Street on one of the most expensive return train tickets you'll see.

Oldest manager of the season - Giovanni "everyone's favourite Grandad" Trappatoni.

Next season's EPL champions - Chelsea. Hiddink will be forgotten.

Next season's Champions League winners - Inter Milan. Mourinho craves 'old big ears' success again. Porto seems like a long time ago now.

Team to brake the big four in England - Manchester City. At the expense of Arsenal?

Teams to be relegated - Stoke City, Burnley & Portsmouth.

Next season's FA Cup winners - Arsenal or Everton.

Next season's Carling Cup winners - Liverpool. FACT.

Next season's shock transfer - Carlos Tevez to Man City / Samuel Eto'o to Man United.

... you heard it here first folks!!

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