PETE DOHERTY & THE POLEAXED* POGUE

Above: Peter Doherty on-stage in The Academy, Dublin

From a sporting perspective Villa Park may have been the place to be on Wednesday night for a cracker of a game, but this side of the Irish Sea played host to a very different, but nonetheless very entertaining, kind of cracker in the form of ex-Libertine, solo star Pete Peter Doherty.  The Babyshambles front-man was in Dublin's fair city this week for a good old fashioned sing-song at Ireland's trendiest new venue the Academy.

  But I have to confess that I have greater knowledge of what Doherty puts up his nose than what he sings into his microphone.  He even managed to grab the headlines for all the wrong reasons lately when the tabloids favourite car-crash celebrity (next to former girlfriend Kate Moss) was originally due to kick-off his 'Irish Tour' of Belfast, Dublin and Galway in October last year.  Rather controversially it had to be cancelled after he was hospitalised the night before suffering from 'breathing difficulties'.

 On Wednesday night however, it was his adoring fans who were the one's left 'breathless' as Pete (sorry, Peter) Doherty tore the place to shreds with some rip-roaring tunes.  Indeed, I say tearing to shreds in the musical sense of course.  However, once it came to light that former Pogues front-man - or is that mad-man? - Shane Magowan (see here) had entered the building there was the distinct possiblility that the Academy would literally crumble in his wake.

One unashamed bottle of vodka in hand, Magowan did indeed do what we had all feared as staff members - he hooked up with Doherty back-stage after the gig.  Surely all we were missing would be an impromptu appearance from Amy Winehouse.  But alas, Pete would have to make-do with Shane and vice-versa.  It would put you in mind of the young prodigy taking tips off his uglier older and waster wiser master.  Pete, you are in the best of hands.

So, with groupies in-tact both musicians departed at midnight respectibly - just 90 minutes after the gig itself.  However, I would seriously doubt Pete and Shane's night ended there.  After all, these guys had a reputation to uphold!  My thoughts go out to the poor bastard who had to clean the dressing room afterwards. 

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*Poleaxed: definition - paraletic, blootered, really really really drunk, post steaming, blitzed, shit-faced, shane magowan.

FRANKIE GOES TO "HOLYWOOD"

...........County Down, that is!

Chelsea ace Frank Lampard was in the high-brow Wine & Co. (pictured above) during his visit with new WAG Christine Bleakley to Northern Ireland last week.  Beeb beauty Christine no doubt had her new man over to meet the 'Ma and Da' in their native Newtownards.  In an attempt to win them over Frank even splashed the cash in a local shop by picking up a quick gift for Mr and Mrs Bleakley, allegedly.  I bet you can't get 10 Curley-Wurley's for a pound in Harrods!

As expected speculation had been rife in the seaside town regarding a potential move for the highly rated England star in the up-and-coming January transfer window.  However, the negotiations apparently broke down when Frank was informed he couldn't be guaranteed first-team football.  It was a tough call from the Holywood FC management, but the right one in my opinion.  Maybe Bangor Swifts would be interested?

The town itself is famous for its Maypole (a big pole people dance around once a year) just next to the venue the loved-up couple were visiting.  Its origin is uncertain, but according to local folklore it dates from 1700, when a Dutch ship is said to have run aground on the shore nearby, and the crew erected the broken mast to show their appreciation of the assistance offered to them by the townsfolk.  

For me, Frank Lampard was the biggest foreign import to hit the streets of Holywood since the falling of that much-loved Maypole in the mid-ninties!   Although, I'm not so sure about Christine's decision to whisk 'Funtime Frankie' off to the Dirty Duck Ale House to round off the night.  The last time I was there I was told to cover up my football shirt as it was "strictly a rugby bar" - I wonder what they thought of an actual footballer gracing their hallowed egg-ball supporting surroundings.

Anyway, thanks for dropping by Frank and Christine.  It just goes to show, Posh & Becks weren't the only ones to take Hollywood Holywood by storm in 2009...

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PS: Cheers for the picture Bernard! ;)